Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Will Not Forsake The Colors That You Bring...

I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

...Stuck In A Moment; U2

I have been thinking a lot about the idea of passion... How does one define something so vague, so fluid, so too-often out of reach?

Far too often, we find it when we are either least expecting it or when we can least really understand how it will change our lives. But that is the thing, without it, what do our lives really mean?

I love the idea of passion. To be swept away by a feeling. To want to jump, heart first into something. That's what life is about, right? Leaping. To find the beauty in something that perhaps no one else sees.


To be honest, I am not thinking specifically about the passion associated with love or lust, but also the passion we find for things like our careers or destinations or our friends and families.

I find that many people hold just a little bit of themselves back and with that hedging comes, I honestly believe this, an inability to truly leap.

Now, the truth is, I am guilty of this. Yes, I can say it until I am blue in the face, but last night I was reminded of the hedging that I do with people. Even when I simply want to act, I don't always.

It isn't for any other reason than I don't want to impose.

No, that isn't true. Not really. You see, I believe everyone deserves the leap. No one should live a life of grey. There is too much color out there for us to sit in a box and wait for the lid to close on us one day.

But to find that color, that passion, takes trust. Trust that if one day you are without it, that you will be okay. Trust that you deserve it. Trust that it does, indeed, exist. Trust that if you lose it, you will be okay.

To trust in passion.

How wonderfully poetic. To trust in something you can not see.

That's what I want. I remember being in Paris and thinking: I want to feel like this forever. Then I came home and life started to intrude just a little too often and I had to remind myself that I'm capable of passion and color and leaping.

So, to any of you out there who have heard me say you need to find your passion. You deserve it. Next time, call my bluff because so do I.

Besides, this 'awesome search' ain't gonna start itself.