Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I Wish I Could Lay Down Beside You...

When you have friends who insist on treating you both fairly and honestly, you can find yourself totally annoyed.

There. I said it out loud.

This is a true story. You have been warned.

I know when a person has given away too much and wants to hold onto something for themselves. I don't even need them to tell me. I can just feel it. I know when a person just wants to have fun and not get too serious and I know when they are lying to themselves and others.

I'm not a witch.

I just know myself.

22 years. That's how long I've been on my own. From the age of 16, I've been either taking care of myself or taking care of others.

This is nothing to get overly excited about it just is what it is.

But now that I've sent off a child to college; now that I've been divorced for a couple of years from a man who really didn't like me let alone love me and now that I have spent the past year dating, I can say:

Sometimes, I have no clue. Not one freaking clue. Not about myself and not about others.

I've met so many peolpe who say that they want x or y when in reality they are still at the start of the alphabet.

And...I've stepped aside to let others choose their own course of action so often that I should really have my picture on a road sign and then I could become part of the DMV test.

I listen to what people around me say and I wonder if they hear themselves. Often the answer is: No. They do not. They talk a great game but they are liars. Or maybe they honestly have no idea what they are doing.

Either way it is a little scary.