Friday, July 8, 2011

One. Awesome. Search.

It took me forever to decide what to title this blog.

Then it took even longer to figure out a tagline. My blurb. An intro.

What is awesome?

I still don't always know.

But I went with it anyway.

And then I began writing a cast of characters and people said...well, how did you find 'The One' and I realized...well, I didn't make it clear. How did he get his name? Uh, it wasn't always 'The One'. For the longest time it was 'Chato', but I didn't want to use that here.

I wanted to start from scratch.

But having someone called the one implies an end. Yet there isn't one. There is, as always, a cast of characters to work through. Real people. Real feelings. Real stories. Real joy. Real pain.

So yes, there is 'The One', and it is just part of the full story. One I didn't have a road map to tell until I realized that I get to make the map.

X marks the spot.

Oh, I Know Something About The Ways Of Love...

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
.....Oingo Boingo

A is home for a one night only appearance. I was happy she was leaving for camp, now I am happy she is home. She is working with an older group of girls this year so her time spent at camp will be slightly different.

For one thing, the older girls say goodbye in different ways than the younger girls.

Older girls know camp will happen again next year and so goodbye is not forever. Younger girls think this is it. The last goodbye.

It usually isn't.

But A is smart because she knows sometimes it is.

It is funny how memories cloud goodbyes. Some people see a time of joy while others see pain and still others see a combination.

This week has become a week of goodbyes. Red says it means something else is opening. I feel like I have tried, on many levels, to let life be. Maybe I have simply over-estimated my role or non-role.

But here we are...

Smarty asked what I wanted. I want to train. I went swimming tonight and tomorrow is a long bike ride day. She asked how I do it. I made a joke.

The truth? I am training my way through goodbyes. I hadn't realized it until I was in the pool tonight. I have spent the last year asking people to be who they are, and accepting.

And it was wonderfully enlightening.

Goodbyes. It is how I first got started as a runner. I needed to say goodbye to my mother after she died, then a marriage, now...the past year.

And now it is time for a more iron-centered focus. And an apartment search. And to go back to letting life just 'be'. And, like the younger and older girls at camp, I will just be reminded that there is often more to come. Next year.

And working through all those goodbyes. Like at camp each year. Goodnight, A. Goodnight, blog. See you tomorrow.

Let's Do The Time Warp Again...

I've been wanting to use that title for a long time now. I almost 'wasted' it back in June, but this morning it dawned on me that now is the time to do a little dance. Get a little jiggy. Shake my bootie, etc.

You see, I woke up and saw my Facebook page looking like a reunion of the best kind.

After all of my time blogging at 'that other place' I am finally done. And that means I lose out on 'seeing' so many of my friends because they are still there, right?


Thanks to a lovely woman who will remain nameless...the best thing just happened: We're all partying on Facebook like it's 1999. Or 2007. Whichever you liked better.

And my heart sang because I had missed so many of these amazing people.

So, right at the moment when summer looked to be getting more difficult because of my training schedule, a little fun came barreling into me and made me smile. Made me a bit nostalgic, too, but mostly, it made me happy.

So...Thanks, MarkyZ. Why? For bringing FB users from all over the world together and not charging us....even when the rumors out there tell us otherwise.'ve asked about it a couple of 'The One' got his pseudonym. And how it impacts 'the search to end all searches'.