Friday, July 8, 2011

Oh, I Know Something About The Ways Of Love...

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
.....Oingo Boingo

A is home for a one night only appearance. I was happy she was leaving for camp, now I am happy she is home. She is working with an older group of girls this year so her time spent at camp will be slightly different.

For one thing, the older girls say goodbye in different ways than the younger girls.

Older girls know camp will happen again next year and so goodbye is not forever. Younger girls think this is it. The last goodbye.

It usually isn't.

But A is smart because she knows sometimes it is.

It is funny how memories cloud goodbyes. Some people see a time of joy while others see pain and still others see a combination.

This week has become a week of goodbyes. Red says it means something else is opening. I feel like I have tried, on many levels, to let life be. Maybe I have simply over-estimated my role or non-role.

But here we are...

Smarty asked what I wanted. I want to train. I went swimming tonight and tomorrow is a long bike ride day. She asked how I do it. I made a joke.

The truth? I am training my way through goodbyes. I hadn't realized it until I was in the pool tonight. I have spent the last year asking people to be who they are, and accepting.

And it was wonderfully enlightening.

Goodbyes. It is how I first got started as a runner. I needed to say goodbye to my mother after she died, then a marriage, now...the past year.

And now it is time for a more iron-centered focus. And an apartment search. And to go back to letting life just 'be'. And, like the younger and older girls at camp, I will just be reminded that there is often more to come. Next year.

And working through all those goodbyes. Like at camp each year. Goodnight, A. Goodnight, blog. See you tomorrow.

3 comments:

BenSmarty said...

My kids go to camp with business cards... with their name, address, phone number and email... so they can keep in touch with the friends they make. A little peek into the world of networking as well.

Goodbye Bubbles. Have a great year :)

Chris said...

Goodbyes are so permanent sometimes..I prefer See ya later :-D Good memories never really leave and goodbyes just seem like..well goodbyes...lol

The Oingo Boingo threw me of focus..I LOVE them.."Nothing bad ever happens to me" is one of my all time favorites...irony is Awesome !!! :-)

See ya later *waves*

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Smarty: A always loved camp, but she's more of a list maker so she'd come home from camp with list after list of people's names. Sometimes, she would forget them over the course of the year, but usually she'd bring them in and keep them as friends. She's better at faces than names, though. :)

@Chris: I like: talk to you later. Even when I think we won't. :) I'm such a goodbye chicken! I heart OB! Totally. They make me very happy. Good song choice. ;)