Sunday, March 6, 2011

Resistance Is Futile...Or Is It?

I've spent four years blogging on a sex site.

Did I hide that I was there? Honestly, no. Everyone who knows me either read my blog or at least knew of it. Even my best friend, R, who says he didn't realize 'what' kind of site it was, knew. Silly R.

I learned so much there.

I bet I could blog for another four years and still not be able to really express what I learned.

Some of the highlights include:

When you put women together in any forum, they will bond. Once they bond, honestly, they will share stories about the men around them. Then the real truth comes out.

Many people do not want to cheat on their spouses sexually. They want to talk. They want to dream. They want to be heard. The sex, in many cases, comes after the walls of conversation come down. But it usually is not an indicator of how they feel for their spouse. Yes, this is true even when they fall in love with someone else. Maybe the love changes, but there is still love. Hard to believe, right? Yes, you can demonize people until you understand: They are people.

People want to be heard. In any format. They want to know that their stories are important.

As much as I have written about the need for women to support each other, when they erroneously begin to believe that there is only one man out there for them, they will lose friendships over the perception of who that man is. That is very sad.

It is even sadder when they think they have to become like someone else to attract that man. Sad, indeed.

There are people who are deeply depressed. They put on a 'face' for the public then tell the world how popular they are; how they are a queen bee; how they are a semi-celebrity. The truth? We are human. Nothing more, nothing less. Creating an online persona you can not sustain offline is not good for anyone. It will make you sad. See the theme here?

There is much less sex going on than we all imagine. More to the point, there is much less intimacy. That may be even worse.

Sex sites are nothing more than a place where 'supposedly like-minded people' can get together. They join for one reason, leave for another but usually stay because they learn something about themselves. And it isn't that they want the ease of a quick hook-up.

Yes, I learned a lot. I'd even say that I grew up a bit. Thanks, sex site, for letting me use your site as a playground for learning. I promise to put all that new knowledge to good use.

And yes, I used a quote from the Borg. That's what being there felt like sometimes.


Sexi Luvin Girl said...

I made it! Doin' a happy dance!

BubblevishiousDeux said...

Yay, Sexi!

I'm happy to welcome you to my new 'home'. I'm still working on the color issues!

gr8ful_deadbeat said...

See the theme here? Oh, you better believe I do! I know exactly what you're getting at, although I'm obviously coming at this from a man's perspective. Like you, I blogged in this same kind of forum and the things I learned while I was there will be something that I carry with me for the rest of my life. While those days of blogging there are all but gone now... the friends I made there are people that I treasure deeply and some, I would dare say, are my closest friends... but I digress.

It's so wonderful to see you here on Blogspot and I look forward to getting to know you even more here...

It's a beautiful day indeed!

Atlanta_Red said...

I think I am going to like our new home here. While I learned so much about myself "there", I am now looking forward to taking that knowledge in a different direction.

Not being bothered with vicious women and bad pics is not going to bother me in the least!!!

BenSmarty said...

I sort of thought resistance as vital. Then again, what do I really know. You must use that quote from "Basketball Wives!"

Christy said...

I hope you find what you're looking for out of this move!

Rob Strickland said...

Oh sure now I gotta do more with my straight blog...haha Actually I do have some more kids photos, which is all my blog here used to be.

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@P, Isn't it funny just how much we learned from being there? I had a great run. No complaints, really.

I look forward to getting to know you more here as well!

@Red, I like our new home even though I can't decide on wallpaper!

@Smarty, that quotes was so priceless. I ws like: YES!

@Christy, and I hope you'll smack me around if I forget to not be vague here. :)

@Rob, why can't you do it al here?

maxibadbitch said...

I learned alot for there as well, both about humans as a whole, and much more about myself. I left it back in September, and couldn't be happier..or stressless. Yes, I know it isn't a word, but many words have been made up over time and are now mainstream!

Resistance is futile? Not if you relearn the game and it opens up so many other opportunites to simply walk away unscathed. ;)

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Maxi: If stressless isn't a word, I don't care because that's how I've felt since I removed myself from dealing with things that don't need my attention. Like 'that' place.

What a sense of relief it was to say: Nope, no more blog posts there. Nuh huh!