Monday, June 20, 2011

The River's Wide, We'll Swim Across...

Yesterday I ran eight miles. I also biked another eight, just because.

That's the longest workout I have done in four years. You see, I used to love running and biking and swimming. And then I got divorced and I became afraid of going out and accidentally bumping into my ex-husband.

Not afraid because he's a menacing figure, but more afraid that running was his thing, not mine.

But yesterday I took a drive to Rockefeller State Park, mainly because a post by Iamkionda reminded me of how much I love trail running, and partly because I missed the smell of spearmint, the cows grazing and the swans.

Oh, and I missed the sun.

And, a long ninety-minutes later and I had eight miles under my belt. I also had swollen fingers, a dry mouth and a happy heart.

I bet if more people understood how much thinking you can get done on a run, then shoe stores would always be in demand.

I thought about "The One" and I thought about "The Prince" and then I thought a bit about "Renaissance" and "The Actor", but mostly I thought about me.

And I thought about why I prefer to run alone. You see, no one can really get you out there, it's something you have to do for yourself. Just like anything in life, you need to really want it. Your mind can't get in the way. You know, like what I have let the last year of ‘wanting’ or ‘finding’ or whatever do to me. Get in the way.

I remember when I finished the NYC Marathon six years ago. I was about 200 meters from the finish line and a New York City cop said 'congratulations, Marathoner' and I started crying.

No way did I believe I would have run that race a few years ago, yet there I was. Finishing…Medal and all.

I doubt most people who knew me thought I could do this. I wasn't a seasoned runner with years of experience, I was a semi-novice runner with drive. And a body built for distance, not speed. But that's the beauty of running...there is something for everyone.

Like yesterday. My body gave me a good solid few miles and my mind gave me a respite from thinking about things like life and love.

Maybe I'll never get the relationship stuff right when it comes to dating, but I get the rest of life pretty right. Like I was reminded a few years ago: I'm all heart.

Sometimes, that makes up for everything else.

(photo of Ash Loop at Rockefeller State Park, NY)

6 comments:

Chris said...

Good for you :-D !!! Sometimes you just have to think more for yourself. All the things in life you love and enjoy count just as much as the potential love from another. Sure it's nice to have that but all the others things are always there for ourselves with or without company and if you enjoy them you always have the one you love the most there ..or should ;-)...each and every time :-)

Free said...

Nice read.
I do envy you because I always wished I could be a runner but it wasn't in the cards. I was built for short bursts of speed.
So now, with the knees going, I enjoy nicely paced long walks.

iamkionda said...

Running is the best, isn't it? The worst sometimes too for me at least. Lol. You're right. It is a good time to clear your head. You have no choice when it's just you, the wilderness or concrete jungle around you, and your thoughts. Clarity is a beautiful thing. :)

Congrats on your run and bike distances. If I had a bike I'd be out there too. I need to work on getting one pronto!

BenSmarty said...

My kid is getting me into sprints. Hopefully that and walking will help with my endurance for running :)

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Kionda: Clarity really is nice. Even when I am mostly muddled, I can find some comfort in going out with, or without, my headphones.

@Smarty: Fartleks are awesome for stamina. It's funny because I forgot how hard it is to do three sports at once and everything hurts me right now. Everything.

Christy said...

Run. Find yourself in it.