Thursday, June 23, 2011

So Come On Give Me The Chance...

To prove I am the one who can
walk that mile.
...Adele, 'One and Only'.

Last night I learned that my boss is going to be leaving in a few months. Just over six, to be exact.

I'm a lot of things over this, but mainly annoyed at how it has been handled. However, he's the first to say that is business.

I knew this was coming because he has been kind enough to prepare me for the possibility of change.

Change.

So while I have had time to think about how this affects me (it doesn't affect my job), I have also had time to think about why I'm still in New York. The truth? I have used every 'but' excuse for the past few years:

But A needs to get through school;
But I need to get through the divorce;
But I need to recuperate from surgery;
But A needs me to be close to her campus;
But I like my boss.

Yeah...well.

A is out of high school
I'm divorced and recovered;
She doesn't need me to be close, in fact, she's already planning to live off campus next year and to be working part-time to establish PA residency.
My boss is leaving.

I've had four bosses in NYC in almost 20 years and loved each one. All four just told me to go. How funny. They were just waiting on me.

But, but, but.

For so long, I just assumed I would be in Chicago after A left for college that I didn't allow myself to think about where I wanted to live. Chicago was it.

Now that I have had a few weeks to think about this again, I realize the list was longer: Stay in NYC or go to DC, Chicago or Philadelphia.

That's where the major non-profit jobs are located. So, it was just decide to narrow down a location, right?

DC is a lot like NYC in terms of costs. So...I could just stay here.

Chicago? Well, I love that city so much. But, maybe it's not meant to be right now. And well, Paris is the 10 year plan and Chicago could very well slow that down.

So that narrows it down to Philadelphia. Hey, I love soul.

I could go on and on about how now is not the time, but it is.

I've stayed for far too long because of other people. I've held off because of other people. I've waited on other people.

My heart is always going to belong where it belongs so it's just time to take it to a new city while it hangs out and does its own thing.

8 comments:

Ceiladgh said...

I lived in Philly for a few months just out of uni .. it was an interesting place ..

I know that you will land on your feet wherever you decide to go ..

I was overly cautious in many moves that didn't work out as I had hoped, and when I just took the leap .. it came up roses.

Just don't get into a parking war :)

( and I found you with help from chrispy if that's ok )

Chris said...

what about a list of all the things you enjoy most...and find a place..then search for jobs there. Maybe you need a new venue that you may not have considered before. You've been so many places..maybe somewhere different brings a new tomorrow while still keeping the same profession.

Kristi said...

They say home is where the heart is....which is why I cam back to The Ranch after being gone. When the Cowboy and I met and things started getting serious, I told him in no unceertain terms that I wasn't ever leaving "here" again....he could join me or not.

Maybe instead of looking at all the "logical" reasons for living somewhere (job, cost of living, housing, etc), let your heart decide and wait for everything else to fall in place. It will feel right when it feels right, ya know?

Besides, you know where I'd vote for you to settle, you crazy pepper lady you. :*

BenSmarty said...

Speaking of crazy, I just read that big city living (i.e., NYC, Philly, Chicago) is bad for your mental health. I vote for the suburbs :)

iamkionda said...

Yes, DC is up there with cost. Currently I'm on the outskirts which is so much better for the purse. Everything is still convenient to get to. I love the Metro. I wonder why I still want to live in the heart of it all. For the energy? Who knows.

DC wasn't even a choice when I moved. It was either NY or Miami. DC won because of my nephew. I then packed up the Jeep and hit the road. Not much thought went into my move.

If NYC is no longer doing it for you then it may be time to pack it up and go. As far as where to go...don't put too much thought into it. I'm sure wherever you end up you will be just fine. :)

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Ceiladgh: Welcome! I'm happy to see you here. What do you think of the layout? It took me three tries, lol.

I'm settling on Philly. I had a long talk with "The Prince" about distance and we've agreed...it doesn't matter anymore. Not really. And I do love Philly a lot. I'd better BUY myself a parking space!

@Chris: So, as a fundraiser, the jobs are in specific cities if I want to earn a salary close to, or better then NYC. Philly ranks right up there and the cost of living is lower. I love museums and food and to not be too far from water. Check on all counts. Plus, my friends are pretty much split up all over now, so I'd be traveling no matter where I go, I guess.

As long as my peppers can still grow!

@Kristi: Instead of looking at logic?! OMG you just gave me a panic attack. :) I'm trying. Logic says stay here, you know? But that's 20 years of logic build-up and while I never thought I could grow a garden, and did, it's time to stop saying what I can't do. I swear, I do things sometimes and am like: WTF? How did I get that done?

@Smarty: City living DOES make you crazy. But as much as I love quiet, I get hives thinking of being too far removed from the action of lights and sounds.

@Kionda: You know how you don't know where you want to live, but know where you don't? That's what I've been dealing with for a long time now.

A says she doesn't care as long as I still have cash to send her. ;)

Mr. Mike said...

You could come to Minneapolis and enjoy a whole LOT of fun at half the cost of NYC. Despite popular perception, our winters are not that bad :-)

You'd have plenty of people willing to show you around the state!

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Mike: I could! It's so funny how many people I now 'know' in MN. Wait, that's the right abbreviation, yes?

Is it true that your winters aren't as bad because of some strange thing with air flow?