Thursday, June 30, 2011

Swimming, Biking and Running Through...

Through what?

It isn't pain. And it isn't grief. Ever wake up and just feel a difference but you aren't sure what it is? It isn't necessarily a bad difference, just something that makes you stop for a minute.

Wait, I should bring you up to speed. You see, last night I had dinner with four friends. Mercedes *recently named in Smarty's blog*, Doc, Smarty and TallPrince, not to be confused with 'The Prince'.

We went to a diner and I thought we had a blast. Actually, Prince said he thought so, too. So did Doc. Mercedes just loved getting together with us, especially 'the girls' because she says we don't do it nearly enough. She's probably right. Smarty wasn't so high on the event. Or, perhaps because I was looking forward to seeing everyone, I didn't really process what she meant when she said it was both 'boring' and that she was done with 'this stuff'. I think she said 'stuff'. She may have said 'shit'.

What 'stuff' I wanted to know...the stuff of bloggers getting together. That's what she meant.

But, wait, aren't we all friends? I know Mercedes (and I really want to call her 'Pouncey' here so I think I will) and I are Smarty's friends. We've spent time at each other's homes; taken trips together; cried, laughed, cursed about life together. Hell, we've had lots of wine together. And Coke. So we are friends.

But what about TallPrince and Doc. Are they are friends? Well, I consider them to be my friends. We talk all the time, we've spent time laughing, trying to dance, eating, cheering on sports teams and now, in the case of TallPrince, listened to me worry about my upcoming triathlons. So, they are my friends. But are they Pouncey’s friends? Smarty’s friends? No, they aren’t. And last night, even though I met each of these guys because of Smarty and Pouncey in one way or another, I was reminded that not everyone is a ‘person’ to everyone else. Sometimes, you never lose your blog persona. You’re just two blog people getting together.

Are bloggers, by definition, too quick to use words like 'friendships' and 'relationships' because we think we know other people because of their words?


I tried to explain to Smarty yesterday that these 'great' stories we may have are dangerous. For those people who haven't been through some of these situations, they sound magical. Sexual freedom, hot mess behavior and the like? Awesome! But there is a downside. Sexual frustration, hurt feelings, STDs, you want me to go on? Right, I don't want to either.

But, hey, when you live a life outside of this stuff, you start to think it's fantastic.

The truth is that while the stories may need to be told, every single one of them needs a word of warning: 'Children, do not try this without supervision.' We are still talking about people at the end of the day. Real people with real problems or successes. And while I can’t verbalize it correctly, the story of ‘celebrity’ bloggers on sex-sites means little to the outside world. But there…Wow. It’s the universe’s center point. Will I write about this shit?

Sure, I'll write about it. I'll write about the feelings I have about poly vs monogamy; lying vs truth, fast vs fiction.

But I'll also write about training for the longest race distance I've ever tried. And how scared I am. But how I am now in love with Diana Nyad and I think she's inspiring me to say 'fuck it, it's possible'. Oh, she asked for quotes for her new blog. Maybe she'd like that one?

As for us, the people who write blogs. Who are we? Depending on where we write we are either noticed or not, popular or not, wanted or not.

But we are also just people.

I might be Bubbles, traveling party super hero looking for love...or I could be Bubbles, 1000 lb wonder dude in my mom's basement.

You can decided for yourself, I guess. Or, you can fill in the blanks.

Hell, that's what a lot of people on AFF did for each other. Why should Blogger be different?


iamkionda said...

Some folks in the flesh compared to their online persona are completely different. Maybe more. I'm not sure. That's why I'm all about the meet and greets. You get to put faces to names, blogs, or whatever. There are times when folks can be disappointing. I haven't encountered that yet.

It's funny but someone can be so outspoken and passionate in a blog but be the complete opposite in person - shy, soft spoken, etc. Some people need to be online to express themselves because they feel they cannot elsewhere?

As far as my friends vs my online buddies. I have a ton of online buddies. They're all great. Not very many folks that I call friends though. I'm a pretty tough woman to get close to. Lol.

Anyway, enough of my babble. Good luck with your triathlon! Just keep pumping in your head that YES you can do it. It's just a quick swim, ride, run in the park Mami. Virtual high fives being sent. :)

AL said...

I have been away from this world (and AFF and AM and etc...) for too long.

What ever happened to happily hiding behind the anonymity of the web and pretty words?

Run hard...just put one foot in front of the other and it will fly by :)

Swimmyness said...

I've definitely noticed that people like to fill in the blanks for people on the other site. It's like mad libs, you never know how your story will turn out if you don't fill out those blanks.
But thats a game. And bloggers are, well, real people.

I'll admit that at first glance in person, I seem to be super awkward around people. Even if its with people I've had hundreds of conversations with through blogging. My brain suddenly doesn't know what to make my mouth say so I end up saying "Yeah.." a lot. But eventually I come out of that shell in the real world too.

Chris said...

At the end of the day people are still people regardless of whatever "this" is. If we look at things as categories and analyze them in small pockets and instances we miss the overall point possibly. Interactions that bring about events be it deep thoughts, laughs or learning about ourselves from or through others is what happens when we just live our lives. If there's no room for friends and new friends or at least the opportunity to try and expand our horizons and grow possibly then what is the actual point to all "this" life we live ??

Pouncey huh ?? There's a kickass Steelers player named Pouncey as well :-D

pouncey said...

I enjoy leaving the confines of my dark dank basement and meeting people..and it's funny, the people I like to meet are those whose blogs I have read, as it makes me feel as if I know a little about them..or at least what they think or elect to share..

friendship takes time to build, sometimes it happens faster and sometimes slower and sometimes you remain blog buddies..but how can any of it be bad, as each experience opens you up to another persective or opportunity.

and I love both names.. funny story, had a teacher when I was a mere tot, who refused to call me by my given name, he called me "mercedes".. go figure!