Thursday, June 2, 2011

Tomorrow You'll Be Thinking To Yourself...

'Where did it all go wrong?'
....All American Rejects

Five years; 593 posts; countless hours spent writing, editing, posting and re-editing.

World's Largest Sex Site? Or World's Largest Collection of unhappy people?

Now that is a question for the ages.

I woke up the other day and realized that for many reasons, logging into AFF disgusts me in many ways. I can fool myself and say that being on the site that long didn't change me, but it did. Did I affect the site in any way? Perhaps.

Okay, maybe. I have met some of the most amazing people there. And I've met nut jobs. No, honestly, they are insane in ways I could have never imagined.

But, because the site encourages its members to go beyond the 'lighter shade of pale' in how we interact with people, all sorts of things happen.

Like...

People lie to themselves about what they want; but, if they use the site for sex and blogging, they can lie all the way to the top of the popular lists;

People hate their families for allowing their bad behavior. And they write about it;

People don't like themselves. And they write about it without even realizing it;

People want to re-live their version of "16 Candles" without the quality acting. No Long Dong Duck for them. Just lots of nuts.

People are not having sex. Not me. Them. We know this because they write about it. A lot. I honestly believe if they used the site for dating or even just casual sex more often, some of them would be happier. Or at least less hateful.

How to explain this to the average reader? I just don't even know where to start.

I met the love of my life there. In that place. No one will ever be 'The One' and that is both good and bad.

I asked Smarty the other day if I could write a book of love letters to a man I'm no longer with just because I still feel the same way. She said I could. So I will.

But at the same time, I want to understand a place that helped shaped my life in many ways.

So...Love. Learning. Fulfillment. Disgust.

Oh, wait, that sounds like being in love and being on AFF. Yeah, I guess I can do this writing stuff.

Who knew?

9 comments:

Lisa said...

I guess the saying misery loves company is true.

I feel disgusted most days when I log onto that wondrous site. And it's not from what I see in my inbox or the fact that no one seems to know how to read.

No, it's on the blogs. And the way adults act. I shouldn't say adults. That's too good of a word. Mental midgets who can't fathom the meaning of how to interact and let bygones be bygones. Or just using simple logic.

If they would just go out and get some, maybe they would be happy? I'm guessing not, though. Because their personality will drive away anyone with decency to have more sex. Thus creating a vicious cycle. We all have down periods, but I honestly think some live to bring down others simply because they hate their own life.

That's not to say there aren't genuine and great people on there. I've met two who I think are the best. And I know he hates people gushing about him, so I won't say much, but that is one of the greatest people I have ever met and gotten to know and have in my life.

There are gems on there, just got to dig through all the dung.

Mr. Mike said...

I have tried to stay away from all the crap on there. Apparently that has gotten me branded as a "fence sitter".

That being said, I can be a little more uncouth, ribald, and randy on there--esp my blog--than I could in other forums.

Like you and Lisa both noted, I too have met some truly wonderful people on there, as well as some total head cases.

So I will keep on blogging, if for no other reason that to give myself an avenue to vent about stuff. :-)

georgecrumpler said...

It is a strange and wacky place, there is even this one strange dude who posts Sunday Sermons on a sex site...now how whacked out is that?

georgecrumpler said...

It is a strange and wacky place, there is even this one strange dude who posts Sunday Sermons on a sex site...now how whacked out is that?

Chris said...

My take...it's merely a vessel and while it brings alot of things you may not wish for it does give you a wider range of possibility on many levels including ones that you may not have ventured in to thought about without another's thoughts on any one subject that you yourself may not have considered if it weren't for someone you enjoyed reading and interacting with. A person CAN find love anywhere..PERIOD... I think you proved that theory though I bet you wouldn't have believed it when you started possibly.
It is alot of muck to slog through sometimes but even in that people show who they are and where their own ethics fall even if nobody understands they learn for themselves. I saw some random douche write a post once about it possibly being a real life simulator or something once and it made sense at the time :-D.

We can focus on the "lighter shade of pale" or we can look for those with a Deeper Shade of Soul...sorry about The Urban Dance Squad reference it just hit me :-/ and seek out those that may affect us positively or let those that affect us negatively dictate what choices we make. Glass is more than half full woman I may be wrong but I seriously doubt it :-)

Riff Dog said...

593 posts! Wow, that's a lot of history.

Until you mentioned it a couple months ago, I never even knew AFF had blogs. I really do need to check it out one of these days. Maybe then I can get invited to one of those NYC parties I heard about! ;-)

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Lisa: I stopped using 'adult' to describe a lot of them. They are spoiled selfish children.

Bygones? Funny you say that since I was accused of not letting something die…then everywhere I went, people kept telling me the story because they’d already heard if from the resident drama queen. When I called her on it, I got silence. Then she emailed me to tell me that I spend all of my time lying about her.  Not.at.all.com. 

I spend all of my time wondering why I spent any time with her at all, but that was my problem, not hers.

Get some? HAHA! I find that the ones complaining the loudest also tell me how much sex they are getting. So, um, shouldn’t they be exhausted?

There are great people there, you are right. I am lucky to have met so many because to be honest, most of the people I love there are also my form of sanity saving therapy.  They just don’t know it!

@Mike: Fence Sitter, welcome! I’m an enabler. Nice to meet you, lol. YOU? Ribald? Hell no. Why didn’t I know this?

@Mr. C…I LOVE that guy! He was the voice of sanity in a sea of fucking nuts. 

@Chris: The vessel is rusty sometimes, right? 

As for love…no doubt! I never imagined it, or even that level of love, but bam…there it was. Right there in that crazy place.

LOL! You Urban’ed me. I like it.  The glass is totally more than half full. I like that, too!

@Riff: If you go and check it out, please, please, please…let one of us be your guide. We know where all the good stuff is happening. And where the bodies are buried. ;)

iamkionda said...

I am so late! Sorry Bubs. I'm catching up I swear!

Ok...true the world's largest sex site has a ton of nut jobs. Scratch that. Tons! Plural! Sifting through all of that can be a chore. It can be done though.

I agree with Chris I believe it was that said you can find love anywhere. Love doesn't know the difference between a sex site, a coffee house, or train. It creeps in when it wants to and does it's thing. See, so Love IS blind! Ha Ha. I just had my own epiphany. Clever.

Anyhoo, I do hope that you tackle that Love Letter writing project. I would love to add that to my collection of literary works someday. ;)

Write on Ms Vicious...write on!

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Kionda: First, you are welcome! :)

I swear, I always feel so lucky that I met so many awesome people. I say that I'd like to undo a lot of last year, but it isn't totally true! So many of you are beyond fantastic.

But you're the quiet group, lol.

I like your ephiphany! I found "The One" there and "The Price" so I know that there are all sorts of relationships just waiting to happen. No knocking aff from me. For now. :)