Friday, May 13, 2011

Sweet Things You Say To Me...

I'm just not 'feeling' it anymore.

If you were to ask me what happened, I couldn't tell you with a straight face.

I just know the feeling is gone.

Maybe it was 'The Prince's' last two posts. Each one explaining how he's not seen as the hot, hip, happening thing in his chosen city.

I read the words and didn't reply because I didn't want to throw off whatever vibe he was giving out.

What I took in was: 'Why, yes, I do have a pretty awesome girlfriend in a pretty awesome city, but that's just one girl in one city.'

'It's not really enough.' Then I remembered: It isn't.

Have I explained this to him? Yes, I have. I know that deep down, he hears me. If I thought otherwise, I'd have run, screaming, long ago.

But with all that knowing, I am only sure of one thing: My faith and devotion have been tested and on many levels, it's what I know I deserve for taking this chance in the first place.

Yes, I took a step down a path I wasn't sure about and learned a most valuable lesson:

My instincts are smarter than I am. Thanks, instincts, for the reminder.

Alpha. Omega. Beta. Zeta. Whatever.

The people and places shown in front of me only make one thing clear: Perhaps there is a need to remove all of the old. Not just some.

I'm not even sure if I am feeling sad or something else at this point.

Relief? Resignation? Surely not resolution, but I'll get there

Sadly, (or not) I always do.


Chris said...

Thankfully it sounds like it wasn't anything out of the blue you weren't already aware of :-) Things are how they are and at times letting it be and taking inventory and deciding what value each holds and whether it's worth it is needed. It may actually make you appreciate some things more than you already have who knows ??

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Chris: Yes, I wasn't blindsided, which is nice. :)

Can't complain about what I step into on my own, now can I?

You know what sort of sucks? Having to take a lot of inventory at once. It would be better to deal one thing at a time. :(

Christy said...

Hugs. Big, big hugs.

BubblevishiousDeux said...

@Christy: Thank you. I'll take those hugs and hold some for you in case you need any.